Trudging Through the Faith

I don’t remember many of the chapels from the Christian High School I went to, but I do remember one speaker who said something about Christianity being a faith of action. That if belief was all that mattered, we would all die at our baptisms and go directly to heaven; do not pass go, do not collect 200 Dollars; but we are all still alive after our baptisms (unless we’ve been doing something very wrong), which means we still have things to do.

Thus we are called to an “active” faith, one where we interact with God in everything we do (preach the gospel at all times, if necessary, use words), one with hearts of prayer, service, and love. But what does this “Active faith” look like?.Many more churches are trying to create this through small groups, community out reach, discipleship training, and what not. This is wonderful.

But at the same time I am mildly afraid. This active thing is great, but I am also afraid that it will soon become routine, and people will get bored. At my church there are small groups that are falling apart because they’ve been together for half a decade, and they have become bored. Service groups are likewise having a hard time because after several years, the weekly trip to the Salvation Army is not what it used to be. To keep people happy we need new songs, new classes, new outreach, and new programs. The Church now runs on novelty.

This is one of the complaints that is leveled against the “traditional” churches, that the worship is always the same, which makes it dull and boring. I will admit that sometimes I get sick of Rite II Book of Common Prayer services. The prose is beautiful, but how many times must I hear “Of thy own have you given us o Lord…” Sometimes I wish we could break out the incense and noise makers, and do the Qurbana or liturgy of St. John the Divine.

But at the same time I am glad for the monotony. Once upon a time I tried praying the daily office twice a day, it lasted about a month, I got bored. During that month I was bludgeoned with the prayer of confession. And I started to notice that I started treating people better, because I kept hearing “Forgive me Father for I have sinned, both in what I have done, and what I have left undone”. It was a tad unnerving.

Perhaps this is why we don’t like monotony, we’re afraid it may begin to change us and challenge us (another reason why I stopped the Daily Office). If we live out our active faiths by constantly changing, we’re to busy forming ourselves -and indeed God)-instead of giving Him time to form us.

+Alex Resurgent
Feast of St. Martha

A Personal Relationship?

As long as I can remember, I have always heard something along the lines of “You need to have a personal relationship with Jesus, thats all that matters.” And to an extent I have agreed, although at times Ive quipped that one should also have a relationship with the Father and the Spirit as well, but for the most part I’ve agreed.

Earlier I was looking up at the stars, contemplating the sheer gravity of Everything (a favorite past time of mine), and it hit me. What does that term ‘personal relationship’ mean, what on earth does it even look like.

I severely doubt it looks like the illustration above. I cant say Ive ever winked at God in my prayer times, and I sincerely hope that He has not blinked at me. I tremble at the thought of what that would mean. Come to think of it I have never felt Chummy with the Eternal One. And I dont think anybody has (except maybe the sculptor of the above).

But I must inquire further into this.

In the times when I can remember feeling fitfully close to God, it has always felt as if I was in the room with a Monarch (which of Course God is), but when I examine it, it doesn’t feel “personal”. HM Queen Elizabeth is my Queen. In such capacity we have a “relationship,” although I feel like political scientists would have a hayday trying to define what it is. It is anything but personal. I can pledge to God my life and my service in return for his wisdom and protection, but that does not cover going to a bar to chat about problems.

The only other time I can think of being close to God is at the alter receiving the Eucharist. There can be nothing more personal or intimate than consuming/being consumed. It is an overpowering feeling, but again, it is not “personal” in the sense that everyone in that congregation, diocese, province, and communion is doing the same thing. It is intimate but not personal.

Part of me believes that it is impossible to have a personal relationship with God on the same level as having a personal relationship with my best friend. Im okay with that. I am totally content with knowing that I have stood in the courts before the King of Kings. I could ask for nothing else. But part of me wonders if I am missing something. If I’m not, how many have turned away because they felt the same way?

+Alex Resurgent